playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
