he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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