And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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