We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
