I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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