I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
