Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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