addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
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