Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that's an acceptable place to lick
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
