Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
