he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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