ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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