Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
