she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
