very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I'm too high and old for this...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
