I got chris browned last night
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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