It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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