he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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