Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
