no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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