I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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