Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
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