You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
