I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
