Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
