you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
this just has baby written all over it
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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