sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
