$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
