My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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