Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
