remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
