man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
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