...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
