No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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