and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
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Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
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Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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