Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
