they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Randomize
