overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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