Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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