i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
