Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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