I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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