I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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