Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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