be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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