Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
