90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
it glows. i had to have it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
