after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
