We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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