I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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