dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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