AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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