Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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