I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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