he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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