hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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