He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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