I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
