Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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