I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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